Why Are We Tongue-Tied When Someone Dies?

My father passed away last December. My sister teaches middle school and many of her students tried their best to offer comfort. One of the notes, from an 11-year-old boy said: “Dear Ms. Edelson. I’m sorry for your lost. (this is not a typo). I don’t know what to say to you, so I might not talk to you for a while.” Though she found this humorous, helping others through the grieving process is no laughing matter. This boy was so honest he captured the way that many adults feel and it resonated with me. Her student expressed the anxieties we often face surrounding how to help a friend through a loss. How many of us, eager to be there to offer support, nonetheless end up avoiding a friend when they lose a relative, concerned they’ll say the wrong thing? I seen it happen and found myself guilty. I put off calling a dear friend who last month lost her husband suddenly when he was only 50, afraid of confronting a friend wrenched in grief and despair. I’ve encountered these situations countless times and have tried relentlessly to sell a story to editors on the topic. But they’ve often shied away from it. Finally, Prevention Magazine’s editor agreed this was a worthy topic. The result is this piece that I wrote:

best-and-worst-things-say-when-someone-dies

I found the advice from experts to be incredibly thoughtful and want to share it with you. Hopefully it will allow you to be helpful the next time a friend or relative is facing a loss.

At Long Last, a Slick New Car Website Just For Women!

I’ve been delighted to be asked to contribute to a brand new website that makes learning about cars, living with them and purchasing them that much easier. Jean Knows Cars: http://www.jeanknowscars.com/ launched earlier this month. It’s intended to be a light and flavorful look at a subject that can be daunting and frankly, one that rarely attracts as much readership among women as it does men. Run by Jean Jennings, who edits Automobile Magazine, and backed by that magazine’s publisher, it intends to demystify the car-buying process, while including real-life rants about what women love — and hate — about their cars. There are also nifty sections on the latest innovations in both style and safety. So far, I’ve written three articles for the site:

http://www.jeanknowscars.com/features/car-safety/texting-and-driving/

http://www.jeanknowscars.com/features/car-safety/drowsiness-detection-systems/

http://www.jeanknowscars.com/features/car-maintenance/dealer-vs-mechanic/

I also have one in the works on what it’s like driving a 288,000 mile car. I believe this new site has much to offer women trying to navigating the high-wheeling world of automobiles. I hope you’ll check it out!