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When We Rescue Our Kids, Are We Preventing Their Success?

 

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time reporting about the lives of millennials: their spending habits, their future careers and passions. In the course of researching a piece I’m now writing for The Fiscal Times, my sources have raised the issue of how boomer parents are afraid to see their children fail, and they routinely swoop in to rescue them. My recent conversations with life coaches are particularly illuminating. They say that parents are footing the bill for sessions with coaches to give them a leg up in the marketplace. But they don’t stop there. Marketing professionals tell me they know of instances where parents actually attend job interviews with their children. I presumed this would be a deal breaker for the young adult, but I was astounded to learn that this doesn’t cause employers to wince. They know they need to respond to the needs of this age group, which soon will make up the majority of the work force as boomers begin to retire. Boomers often felt detached from their own parents, rebelling against their way of life. And they’re committed to sparing their child from any undue hardship. Only a minority of parents I know insist that their teenage and college-aged children get a summer job to earn their own money.  I, too, find myself guilty of swooping in, occasionally intervening with teachers to explain why my child turned in an assignment late (even though there was no valid excuse), or making calls on their behalf to potential summer job employers. (I at least insist that they work). But the experts I’ve spoken with say that young people learn from failure — and struggle. That often gives them the resources they’ll need to stand out in the competitive job market. It has led me to wonder whether we boomer parents — myself included — should rethink the way we approach our children. Ultimately, in trying to save our children from failure, we could be making it harder for them to succeed.

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AnnArbor.com Picks Up Article on Howard Weinblatt

Today, AnnArbor.com’s Pete Cunningham wrote an article highlighting the piece I wrote for The Ann on Howard Weinblatt. I’m gratified to see that it will get broader exposure and that it’s already attracted numerous comments. AnnArbor.com has successfully engaged its readers on a number of issues. I’m pleased to see that this article has started such a worthwhile conversation on key issues affecting modern society. Check out the article:

http://www.annarbor.com/news/crime/examining-ann-arbor-peeping-pediatrician-case-and-what-is-says-about-societal-view-of-privacy/

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A Visit to the Lucy Ann Lance Show

I very much enjoyed the opportunity to discuss my recent article on the Howard Weinblatt case on the Lucy Ann Lance show this morning. I was particularly impressed by the range and depth of Lance’s questions. She clearly had read the entire 4,000-plus word piece, which was impressive! The questions allowed for a thorough discussion of the many key issues surrouding privacy, surveillance and punishment for sex offenders that this case raises. As a journalist, I always appreciate these types of opportunities. How many professions allow you the chance to reflect on your work with the general public? It’s another indication of how important journalism can be in engaging the public in conversation about key topics — and in doing so, impacting change. If you did tune in, I welcome your reactions. If not, here’s a link to the interview. If you scroll down to my picture, you can just click it on and listen.

http://lucyannlance.com/?p=23441

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When Privacy Issues Hit Home

When Kyle Poplin, editor of The Ann (which is distributed with AnnArbor.com and to New York Times subscribers in Ann Arbor) approached me about writing an in-depth piece on the privacy issues raised by a hotly watched local case, I initially hesitated. The case involves a pediatrician, Howard Weinblatt, who was accused by his neighbor of masturbating while looking out of the window of his house at the neighbor’s 12-year-old daughter, while she was changing clothes. The mother observed this twice, then decided to videotape him the third time. That video became part of the prosecution’s case. Weinblatt settled the case, agreeing to move from his home and register on the Michigan Sex Offender Registry.

As a resident of Burns Park, the community where this occurred, I knew both of the parties in the case. I saw how the allegations rippled through our tight-knit community. I witnessed the pain it inflicted on all sides. I wondered whether it would be best to just leave this issue alone and allow the parties to move on with their lives, without subjecting them to further coverage in the press. Should I decide not to further invade their privacy? That idea held merit, but ultimately I decided to take on what would be one of the most interesting assignments of my 27-year career as a freelance journalist. The case wasn’t just about a doctor and his neighbor, and the blameless 12-year-old victim caught in the middle. It raised central issues of privacy and surveillance — issues that are likely to be played out repeatedly in a society where the details of everyone’s life are broadcast through texts and in social media. I often tell my teenage children: be careful what pictures you post on Facebook. It could come back to haunt you. The long-held rules for what is considered a private matter have been thrown out, and we’re forced to navigate an entirely different landscape. Can you be prosecuted for what you do behind closed doors, if someone else sees you doing it? Do you have license to record what you see and use that in prosecution? This embarks on new terrain, and I felt the subject was worthy of an in-depth follow-up article.

Of course the particulars of this case are unusual and horrifying to anyone. I tried to tackle this subject with objectivity, sensitivity and fairness. If the  anonymous comments following news accounts of the case appearing in Annarbor.com are any indication, this is a subject that inflames emotions and causes many of us to reach quick judgments about individuals and rights. While it may be difficult to avoid that process, I believe we should all pay attention to the larger privacy implications of this case and how they may affect us.

I welcome your thoughts on the article, which I hope will start an intelligent discussion on this important issue.

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The Next Generation: Rescuing the Economy or Plunging It Further Into Decline?

I’ve spent the past couple of weeks working on a package of articles for The Fiscal Times focused on the spending habits of those ages 18 to 30 — so-called “milennials.” I’ve been fascinated to discover that although this age group is facing one of the worst employment situations ever, many are inherently optimistic. I’ve been mulling this over with particular personal interest. My daughter, about to turn 21, will graduate from college next year, and I fear for her prospects during this down economy. But speaking with so many millennials, I didn’t get the impression that there’s a need to worry. Not only do many have comfortable jobs, but they believe they’ll earn enough money over their lifetime to afford all that they crave. And they’re spending as if they’re already living the high life, despite staggering college loan and credit card debt. Millennials represent the fastest growing sector of the luxury market. The appearance of having made it often trumps consideration of whether you can afford a luxury item. It got me to thinking: have these millennials learned the lessons that plunged us into the recession? Is their spending likely to wreak havoc on both their personal lives and the nation as a whole? Or will their persistent optimism succeed in helping to turn the economy around? Only time will tell.

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Do One-Year-Olds Need an iPad?

While researching a recent article I wrote on kids and technology http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/Articles/2012/03/21/iChildren-How-Apple-Is-Changing-Kids-Brains.aspx?p=1,  I was slightly astounded at how much has changed since my children were young. I remember my middle-schooler, now nearly 21, begging for her own cell phone and telling her she would have to wait until high school to get one. Waiting until you’re 15 to get a cell phone these days is almost unheard of, when recent statistics show that 77% of teens ages 12 to 17 own their own cell phone. I was amazed at how many babies have their own iPads; 24% of those ages three to eight own their own. It got me to thinking: would I have been one of those parents who purchased an iPad for their child? The idea of putting a $500 electronic device — glass top and all — in the hands of a toddler is frightening at best. And I know that my son would immediately have gotten hooked on it — to the detriment of any other activities, like interaction with his parents. I have to admit that, as the mother of three much older children, I’m glad I don’t need to navigate all these “must have” gizmos of today’s kids.

This topic of technology came up while I was researching a piece that ran in Scholastic Parent & Child’s April issue: PC_FEATPreschool_apr12_F. It involved picking a preschool for your child. Experts were divided on whether technology in the classroom was a good thing. Some said no way; others thought it could be a useful addition, provided it was used in moderation.

I also appreciate the recent mention of my book, Making Up With Mom, by Marguerite Kelly in The Washington Post. She discusses ways that you can “break up” with a mother who is too difficult to handle. My co-author, Debby Carr, and I had a lovely tea with Ms. Kelly when we were promoting our book. She’s an inspirational journalist who paved the path on parenting advice, and we’re grateful she’s given a nod to us!

 

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Welcome To My New Website!

At long last, I have a place where you can see what I do as a freelance journalist, journalism instructor and blogger. Feel free to peruse the site to get an idea of my work. Right now I’m busy working on another installment of how certain religious denominations are taking action to combat climate change. It’s for a series by The Yale Forum on Climate Change and the Media. My first piece was on Judaism and I found it to be an extremely fascinating subject. With the iPad 3 coming out next week, I’m exploring the implications of getting very young kids hooked on technology. It’s a piece I’m writing for The Fiscal Times. And I’m very much looking foward to seeing the great news features that my environmental journalism students submit next week.

I hope you enjoy the site! Feel free to contact me with your comments.

Julie